LESSON 10
(7:1-16)

MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote.  It is well for a man not to touch a woman.  2 But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.  3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  4 For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.  5 Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.  6 I say this by way of concession, not of command.  7 I wish that all were as I myself am.  But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do.  9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.  For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
10 To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband. 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)-- and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.  13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.  14 For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrate through her husband.  Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.  15 But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound.  For God has called us to peace.  16 Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband?  Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

This chapter fills an important niche in God’s Word inasmuch as it addresses marriage in general, and the single state in particular.  (Read9:1-5 about Paul’s status.)  While the Bible teaches that God instituted marriage, that one man and one woman united for life in marriage was God’s plan, that God hates divorce and never “planned” for it; yet general information about the single person is almost limited to this chapter.  Mt. 19:1-12; I Tim. ch. 5 and Titus 2 contain almost all there is in the New Testament on “singleness” in life.  Eph. 5 is fine for marriage vows, but doesn’t help in other areas.  As a consequence, the church is often at loss about those who are of marriageable age and are not married, or have been divorced or whose spouse has died.  The divorced person and the divorce question are fast growing problems in American society.  Many other cultures deal with polygamy (we have it in America, except it is just in linear sequence: one spouse at a time) and other related problems.  This chapter doesn’t answer all the vexing problems we face, but it is helpful in various areas.  May we study and learn the lessons therein.
An additional point before we start: although the Corinthians wrote to Paul about this matter, we have no record of what they asked.  It is then like listening to one side of a telephone conversation: we can only surmise what the answers may mean.  We don’t know for sure about the conditions in Corinth or in the church.  If ch. 5 is any help, some standards prevailed in society, but that doesn’t help too much.  Let us then be careful how we approach Paul’s answers.
7:1 – It is well – Since the Biblical principle of marriage as the normal state in life was as well known to Paul as to us, the question that seemingly was asked was something life this: “Is it acceptable to God to marry?”  Perhaps some were “pushing” marriage in every case (vv. 36-38 are on this point) while some were arguing that the flesh was evil and marriage to be avoided if possible.  Paul says: celibacy is an acceptable state, neither to be encouraged nor disparaged.
to touch – One way to describe the marriage relationship is that of continual holding of someone, as a possession.  As v. 7 states if God has bestowed the gift of remaining single upon someone, then no overpowering need will be felt to be married.
V. 2 – There are many advantages in the marriage relationship as God planned it.  One of those is the satisfaction in the sexual area, which God intended to provide freedom from immorality.  Actually the Greek text doesn’t have the words “of the temptation” in it; it just says “because of immorality it is good. . . .”  Note that each man and each woman is to have his/her own mate; not many but one.
V. 3 – If a person decides to marry, then the marriage partnership is a two-way street.  Each belongs to the other.  Ch. 11 will teach that the husband is the head of the home, but this text as clearly teaches that in some respects each is obligated to the other.  Each person in the union of two lives into one life must lose some personal identity, give up rights that are important, subjugate desires to the other; all for the total good of the marriage, which is more important than either person individually.  (Paul’s use of this facet of marriage in Eph. 5 makes the same point: Christ gave up His own self for the good of His bride, etc.) The explanation of this fact is in v. 5.
V. 4 – does not rule –(See 6:12 for “enslaved.”) Neither the husband/ wife has sole authority in the marriage relationship in respect to his/her body–each is under the authority of the other..  The only way this can be worked out to the best degree of satisfaction is by love, deep and abiding.  A legalistic demeanor will never do in solving this delicate part of one’s married life.  If each mate loves and cherishes the other, and lives under the authority of the other, then God will insure happiness.  Solomon reflected this same general principle in ch. 5 of Proverbs.  Guided by God’s wisdom, he continued to address the point in 6:20-7:27.  Read these sections as you study this text.
V. 5 – do not refuse – (See on 6:7 for this term.)  Amplifying the point about sexual relationships, Paul outlines the idea that “normal” activity should be the rule in any marriage except for one exception: a season of prayer (of undefined length, but more than just a prayer at bedtime, etc.), and for one reason: the ever-present tempter, Satan.
This text does not affirm that a sexual relationship, however often, will hold a marriage together or smooth over all the difficulties.  The case in point is celibacy versus marriage, which would naturally involve the area of sexual relationships.  However, God has provided in marriage the area of sexual relationships.  However, God has provided in marriage for sexual activity that is holy, and the discussion is therefore relevant.
V.6 – Marriage or celibacy: neither is necessarily commanded nor forbidden.  There are blessings and obligations in each case.  Paul evidently felt that in his state, singleness was a blessing in enough areas that he would be single for the kingdom’s sake, Mt. 19:10-12.  (As a passing comment, “Pairs and Spares” may not have the best connotations for those involved in that area, if by “spares” the implication is that said people are less than they ought to be.)  In marriage, sexual activity is normal, but a concession to “normalacy” is made in the desire to pray as long as both parties agree.
V. 7 – Since some conditions at that time were less than the best, Paul expressed a wish that, at least for a season, marriage could be avoided.  However, he understood that only some might possess the gift (charisma) of celibacy which he had.  If so, then singleness was not an option some could choose without attendant difficulties, as seen in v. 9.
gift – See the word charisma on 1:7.  There is no word for “special” in the Greek text.
V. 8 – unmarried and widows – These two groups of people are present in nearly every congregation of any size.  They are often ignored, slighted or unduly pitied.  The church needs to be more alert to the potential of each, and help them serve their Lord in some special way that others can not do.
As 7:25ff. will bring out, the particular set of circumstances in that day did not hold the best hope for happiness in marriage at that time.  Hence this advice from Paul for that day and time.  Notice the comparative “better” (well) rather than “best” in this verse, as in v. 1.  What is “better” for one may be not “better” for another.
V. 9 – self-control – As in v. 5, ability to keep oneself under submission was a major factor to be considered.  The term Krate_ has the general idea of possession, of self or something.  You can find it in such texts as Mt. 12:11; 264, 48, 50; Mk. 1:31; 9:27; Lk. 8:54; 24:16; Jn. 20:23; Acts 2:24; 3:11; 24:6; 27:13; Eph. 1:19; 6:10; Col. 1:11; I Tim. 6:16; Heb. 2:14; I Pet. 4:11, 5:11; Jude v. 25; Rev. 1:6.
While the Spirit provides self-control, Gal. 5:23, and self-control is to be added to one’s faith, II Pet. 1:6, yet Paul spoke of celibacy as a gift from God, v. 7.  Jesus said that only some could accomplish such a state of self-denial, Mt. 19.  Since both ideas must be taken as the teaching of God, the church must be very careful about any definite stand upon either position.  If God is able to make His servants stand, Rom. 14, then God’s other servants should be careful that the will of God in someone’s life is not thwarted by well-meaning but unwise efforts on the part of others in God’s service.
It is better – The third idea of comparison in these verses.  Verse one had “good” as did v. 8.  Now v. 9 has “better” also.  Each person should be permitted the freedom to choose in the matter, just as choice is allowable in other matters of God’s will.  Advice may be given if requested, and given in a spirit of love, but the free choice must be honored.
Having established the option to remain single or to marry, attention is now focused upon the married couple and how binding the marriage union is.  While God intended marriage for life, He recognized that some marriages would be less ideal.  In fact, most marriages are between the ungodly, which means the essential stability inherent in a marriage where God is the basis for living is not present.  Moreover, the fact that Christianity would set households against each other, Mt. 10:34-39; Lk. 14:26-33, was known by God. Consequently, some general directives were necessary for sch situations.  Let us not suppose, however, that even a small portion of the answers we might desire are given in our text, or any text.  One reason is that human nature being what it is, people would seek every loophole possible to get out of a marriage.  Another is that any attempt to handle the problem situations in every marriage would require a book so immense in size and impossible to absorb as to make it useless.  In God’s wisdom, such a book was not written.  Let us who call ourselves His children not write one either.  Let us do the best we can and allow God to do as He deems best.  It would be better, we suggest, to err on the side of mercy than the side of legalism.
The general tenor of the text in 7:10-16 is for the marriage union to be maintained fi possible.  The union that is holy in God’s eyes (however a culture may “legalize” it) makes the sexual relationships acceptable and the children legitimate from that union.  If the marriage involved a Christian and a non-Christian, then every attempt possible was to be made to save the marriage as well as the unbelieving spouse.
V. 10 – Jesus had taught on the design of marriage as to its duration, Mt. 19.  (It is interesting that Paul knew what Jesus taught, isn’t it?)  He now through His apostle teaches some additional things about it.
Wife – Note that the wife as well as the husband had the privilege of separation.
Separate – The apostle used two words in this text to speak of separation (= divorce).  This one is Ch_ridz_. See Mt. 9:6; Acts 1:4; 18:1; Rom. 8:35, 39; Phile. v. 15; Heb. 7:26.  It has the basic idea of separation.  The other is in v. 12, aphi_mi, which has the idea of separation also, but is used considerably more.  Read Mt. 1:27, 32; Mk. 4:36; 15:37; Lk. 10:30; 12:10; Jn. 12:7; Acts 5:38; Rom. 1:27; 4:7; Heb. 6:1; I Jn. 1:9; 2:12; Rev. 2:4, 20; 11:9.
V. 11 – While the union should remain if at all possible, either husband or wife may separate from the other.  However, the second command is as important as the first: the single state must be maintained, or reconciliation must take place.
V. 12 – Since the conversion of both husband and wife to Christianity does not always take place at the same time, some instruction was needed in that area.  While such a “mixed” marriage is less than ideal, God had made provision for it: remain together if at all possible.  If not, then allow the unbeliever to separate.  (As a note, some might take II Cor. 6:14ff. as a command to separate; however, if both texts are inspired of God, then this text is clear and specific, and should be taken as the norm.)
V. 14 – As noted above, God recognizes a marriage in any culture, pretty much as the culture dictates.  The process may be less than ideal by some standards, but even “Christian “ America leaves much to be desired in respect to marriage ceremonies, who is married, and when, etc.
Unclean . . . holy – The best way to take this is that children born into a valid marriage relationship are legitimate, whatever else may be true.  The religious aspect is not in view (i.e., that children are born “believers,” etc.) but simply the principle of legitimacy.
V. 15 – The Christian spouse, with God’s help, is to make every effort to maintain the union.  However, that may not be possible to do, so God permits separation if the unbeliever wishes.  Stated another way, the believer is bound if the unbeliever desires to maintain the union.
V. 16 – As an explanation of v. 15, this verse is written.  The text of I Pet. 3:1ff. comes to mind, as well as such concepts as salt, light and leaven.
Having thus written and commented, the questions left unanswered are numerous and difficult, as before intimated.  Paul does not state in clear fashion whether the principle in 7:10-11 may take precedence over the injunctions not to separate in vv. 12, 13.  That divorce is not encouraged is clear enough.  What is not stated at all are such things as the husband/wife being an unbeliever, and also a dope addict, etc.  The point about “peace” in v. 15 is not explained: does it mean “no contest” if separation is desired or no retaliation in the home?  The same applies to the “is not bound” in v. 15.  The Greek tem is the familiar word doulos, a slave, etc.  From what is the believer freed: the necessity of maintaining the union, or of maintaining peace, or of remaining single, or of attempting reconciliation, etc.  Some things are clear, but some are not.  Some principles are stated, but not harmonized.  We are left with human reasoning on some points.  All of us must remember that unless the Scripture states the point, with no inference involved, no test of fellowship should be made.  Our faith must not rest upon the reasoning of men but the clear word of God.  While every statement or principle has one or more implications within it, and applications of it, yet none of us should insist that another bow to our wisdom, however clear it may seem to us.  Otherwise, we are setting ourselves up as God’s “official” interpreter, and that is doing more than God had allowed.  (Note Ch. 11:2-16 on marriage.)

	LESSON 10 QUESTIONS

1.	Try to state the question(s) Paul was asked.

2.	List some things that belong equally to husband and wife.

3.	What is one danger of Satan to a marriage?

4.	Why did Paul use the comparative terms such as “good” or better” rather than “best” in his answers?

5.	List the three options state in v. 10-11.

6.	The pressure to keep the marriage together is upon whom?

7.	What is the problem with the principles in vv. 10-11 in respect to vv. 12-15?

8.	Does Paul clearly define “bound” and “peace” in the text?

9.	Why do you think that God didn’t have more written for us upon the subject of marriage and divorce?